Mental Health

Why You Can't Help But Miss Someone So Much

By Dynne C. | Update Date: Mar 05, 2024 02:40 AM EST

Sometimes, no matter what kind of distraction a person subjects themselves to, they cannot help but miss a loved one. Unbeknownst to many, missing a person is not always a voluntary decision.

Attachment theory suggests that humans have an innate need to form strong emotional bonds with others. These attachments serve as a foundation for relationships and influence how people interact with others throughout their lives.

When deep attachments are formed with someone, whether it is a friend, family member, or romantic partner, one becomes emotionally invested in them. As a result, when that person is absent, they experience a sense of longing and yearning -- they are missing someone.

Biochemistry

From a biochemical level, missing someone can be attributed to changes in neurotransmitter levels in the brain. When a person is in the presence of someone they care about, the brain releases neurotransmitters such as dopamine and oxytocin, which are associated with feelings of pleasure, bonding, and attachment.

However, when that person is no longer around, the levels of these neurotransmitters may decrease, leading to feelings of withdrawal and sadness. This biological response contributes to the intensity of missing someone.

Memory

Memory also plays a significant role in this process. The brain is wired to remember experiences and interactions with others, especially those that evoke strong and rewarding emotions. When a person misses someone, the mind often replays memories of time spent together, triggering emotions associated with those experiences. This constant recollection of memories reinforces attachment to the person and amplifies the feelings of longing.

Social media

In today's digital age, social media can elevate feelings of missing a loved one. Various platforms provide constant reminders of the people one cares about through photos, messages, and status updates. Social media helps people stay connected, but it also intensifies feelings of missing someone with constant exposure to their presence in the virtual space, even when they are physically absent.

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