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From infancy to adulthood, humans have a fundamental need for affectionate touch and emotional connection. When this need is consistently unmet, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety and even depression.

Affection deprivation can trigger the release of stress hormones such as cortisol, leading to heightened levels of anxiety and a weakened immune system. In a 2021 study, it was linked to stress, depression, loneliness and a higher risk of mortality. 

Over time, individuals deprived of affection may develop maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as withdrawal from social interactions or engaging in risky behaviors, in an attempt to fulfill their unmet need for connection. It is important to recognize the signs of affection deprivation, including persistent feelings of loneliness, difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, and a tendency to avoid physical contact. Individuals experiencing affection deprivation may also exhibit symptoms of depression, such as low mood, fatigue and changes in appetite or sleep patterns.

Healing from affection deprivation requires a combination of different approaches that address both the emotional and physical aspects of the condition.

Seek professional support

Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT or attachment-based therapy, can help individuals explore the root causes of their affection deprivation and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

Build supportive relationships

Building healthy relationships with supportive friends, family members, or romantic partners can provide a source of emotional comfort and connection. Engaging in activities that promote bonding, such as shared hobbies or regular communication, can strengthen these relationships over time.

Practice self-compassion

Learning to be kind and nurturing toward oneself is crucial for healing from affection deprivation. Engaging in self-care activities, such as mindfulness meditation, exercise, or hobbies that bring joy, can help individuals develop a greater sense of self-worth and fulfillment.

Explore alternative forms of affection

While physical touch is an important aspect of affection, it's not the only way to experience closeness. Expressing affection through verbal communication, acts of service, or quality time spent together can also create feelings of connection and belonging.