Mental Health

Were You Raised by an Emotionally Reactive Parent?

By Dynne C. | Update Date: Jan 30, 2024 12:58 AM EST

Childhood experiences play an important role in shaping an individual's emotional response. They influence perceptions, behaviors, and relationships well into adulthood. 

For people who grew up with emotionally reactive parents, the long-term impact can affect a person's interactions with oneself and with others. Emotionally reactive parents are individuals who respond to situations with heightened emotions, often struggling to manage their feelings in a balanced manner. This psychological trait can significantly impact the emotional development of their children, leading to a range of challenges in later life.

Emotional repression

Holistic psychologist Nicole LePera explains in a quick video on TikTok how emotionally reactive parents condition their children to either freeze or fawn as a response.

Individuals raised by emotionally reactive parents may unknowingly develop a habit of repressing emotions to avoid triggering intense reactions. This automatic response, rooted in childhood coping mechanisms, can persist into adulthood, manifesting as a subconscious tendency to conceal feelings. 

Recognizing this pattern can help a person break free from emotional repression and build authentic connections and promote overall well-being. Awareness opens the door to healthier outlets, such as seeking support or engaging in therapeutic practices, facilitating a journey toward emotional liberation. 

Affinity for chaos and hypervigilance to conflict

The imprint of an emotionally reactive parent may even extend beyond familial relationships. Individuals raised in such environments might unconsciously seek out friends and partners who mirror the chaotic emotional landscape of their upbringing. This pattern can perpetuate a cycle of tumultuous relationships.

Despite their affinity for chaos, individuals raised by emotionally reactive parents may find themselves hypervigilant about potential conflicts. The constant exposure to emotional volatility during childhood can wire the brain to perceive threats even in benign situations. This results in an environment where conflict avoidance becomes a default response.

Setting boundaries

One distinctive hallmark of growing up with an emotionally reactive parent is the enduring struggle for autonomy. Even in adulthood, individuals may find their parents attempting to exert control over various aspects of their lives, hindering the natural progression toward independence.

Establishing and maintaining boundaries can pose a significant challenge for those with emotionally reactive parents. The blurred lines between personal space and the needs of others may stem from a childhood where such distinctions were not clearly defined or respected.

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