Mental Health

Were You Raised by Emotionally Unavailable Parents?

By Dynne C. | Update Date: Jan 15, 2024 02:19 AM EST

Early emotional experiences shape brain development and influence one's ability to form healthy relationships. Here are some common signs that indicate someone may have been raised by emotionally unavailable parents.

You struggle with intimacy and have difficulty expressing your emotions

Children raised by emotionally unavailable parents often face challenges in expressing their emotions. Emotional expression is linked to the limbic system, which is crucial for forming connections with others. Individuals with emotionally distant parents may find it difficult to open up or connect intimately with others due to underdeveloped emotional expression skills.

You crave for validation

A lack of emotional support during childhood can lead to a persistent craving for validation in adulthood. Yearning for approval is associated with the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. In a study, emotional validation from mothers during childhood was shown to build emotional awareness. 

Individuals raised by emotionally unavailable parents may seek external validation to compensate for the emotional neglect experienced in their formative years.

You get to be overly independent

Emotionally unavailable parents may inadvertently create independence in their children. This can be linked to the development of the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and autonomy. 

While independence is a valuable trait, an excess of it may signify an emotional detachment learned from parents who were unavailable to provide the necessary emotional support.

You have trust issues

Trust is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships, and its development is intricately linked to early emotional experiences. Children with emotionally unavailable parents may struggle with trust issues in adulthood. This can be attributed to alterations in the oxytocin system, a hormone crucial for building trust and bonding.

You are sensitive to criticism and fear rejection

Emotionally unavailable parents may inadvertently contribute to their children's fear of rejection and heightened sensitivity to criticism. These reactions can be linked to the amygdala, a brain region responsible for processing emotional stimuli. Children of emotionally unavailable parents may develop a heightened sensitivity to criticism as a defense mechanism against potential emotional neglect. 

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