Mental Health

How to Stay Positive While Dealing With an Unhappy Partner

By Dynne C. | Update Date: Dec 28, 2023 02:35 AM EST

Imagine waking up to the same sky -- one finds beauty, while the other predicts rain. In such a situation, planning a trip becomes a contrast between excitement and foreseen mishaps.

In relationships, the interplay of individual dispositions and perspectives shapes the dynamics. For couples whose traits align or complement each other, this fusion often fosters harmony. However, when dispositions are mismatched, it can create challenges that may be difficult to overcome.

The impact of negativity

In a recent study, psychologists Olga Stavrova and William J. Chopik looked into this issue. In their study titled "Don't Drag Me Down," Stavrova and Chopik explored couple co-development and well-being, probing whether partners with differing well-being levels converge over time. Analyzing over 20,000 couples longitudinally, they uncovered a distinct negativity bias in this co-development.

Their findings revealed a telling pattern -- happier partners experience declines, while unhappier ones marginally improve, if at all. Negativity wields a substantial influence in shaping emotional trajectories within relationships.

Negativity in relationships can get out of hand, making it difficult to resolve. It could lead to a magnified sense of the other person's faults or shortcomings. It also makes it difficult for one to be grateful and empathize with their partner. It may even result in both partners feeling undervalued and unappreciated.

Building positivity in a relationship

To counteract negativity, couples can adopt proactive strategies. Designating specific times for discussing negative events allows venting without overshadowing daily interactions. Establishing boundaries becomes pivotal; while supporting an unhappy partner, safeguarding positivity is crucial. 

To build positivity, one can focus on open communication, lending a patient ear without absorbing their partner's negativity. One should safeguard personal boundaries to preserve emotional health while being there for their partner. Prioritizing self-care and hobbies to nurture personal positivity is also helpful. 

They may also encourage professional help if necessary and foster joint activities that promote positivity. Striking this balance allows for empathetic support without compromising emotional stability.

© 2023 Counsel & Heal All rights reserved. Do not reproduce without permission.

Join the Conversation

Real Time Analytics