Mental Health

Hoovering vs. Gaslighting: A Look at Narcissistic Behaviors

By Dynne C. | Update Date: Dec 22, 2023 01:56 AM EST

Narcissistic behaviors can manifest in various ways, with two prominent characteristics being hoovering and gaslighting. These manipulative tactics, often used by individuals with narcissistic tendencies, can have profound effects on relationships and mental well-being.

Hoovering: The art of reeling a person back in

Hoovering derives its name from the vacuum cleaner brand Hoover, describing the manipulative behavior of attempting to "suck" a person back into a relationship. This tactic involves a narcissistic individual trying to regain control or re-establish a connection with someone they previously had a relationship with, often after a breakup or period of estrangement.

The hoovering individual might employ various strategies, such as showering the person with affection, making promises of change, or using guilt-tripping tactics to evoke sympathy. This behavior aims to manipulate emotions, exploiting vulnerabilities to regain influence or control over the other person.

Gaslighting: Twisting realities

Gaslighting is another tactic used by narcissists to undermine a person's perception of reality and sanity. It involves manipulating someone into doubting their thoughts, memories, or experiences. The gaslighter might deny events that occurred, invalidate emotions, or twist facts to create confusion and doubt in the victim's mind.

This insidious tactic aims to make the victim question their reality, leading to self-doubt and dependence on the gaslighter for validation. Over time, this can severely impact the victim's mental health and self-esteem.

Impact and Coping

Dealing with narcissists can be challenging because of their manipulative skills. Both hoovering and gaslighting can have detrimental effects on the victim's mental health, leading to anxiety, depression and a distorted self-perception. Recognizing these behaviors is crucial for protecting oneself from their harmful effects.

Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional is essential for those experiencing these manipulative tactics. Establishing boundaries and practicing self-care are vital steps in safeguarding one's well-being from the detrimental effects of narcissistic behaviors.

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