Mental Health

Orgasms Come Before Love in Relationships, Survey

By Christine Hsu | Update Date: Jul 26, 2013 03:43 PM EDT

Ladies, if you're not fully satisfying your man in bed, there's a good chance he'll kick you to the curb.

A new survey reveals that one in six men say that a relationship is dependent on performance in the bedroom, and admit that they wouldn't hesitate to leave a partner who failed to satisfy them in bed.

The UK poll also reveals one in four men and one in five women believe regular orgasms are more important in a relationship than being in love.

Even though many people rated sex as first priority in intimate relationships, the survey revealed less than half of survey respondents admitted that they were "very happy" with how often they orgasm, according to the poll conducted by online retailer bondara.co.uk.

The survey, which included 3,800 men and women, found that 16 percent of men and 10 percent of women would end a loving relationship if they failed to reach orgasm with their partner. Another 39 percent of men and women said that not being to achieve orgasm would be a factor for ending a relationship.

While 60 percent of respondents said they were generally "very happy" in their current relationships, only 17 percent of men and 6 percent of women said the same when asked about the sexual side of their relationship.

Tiredness and exhaustion was the most common excuse for why people failed to reach orgasm, with 20 percent of women and 23 percent of men citing the reason.  The second and third most common reasons for women failing to achieve orgasm are self-esteem issues and lacking sexual desire.

The survey revealed that 15 percent of men admitted that alcohol stopped them from climaxing and 12 percent were affected by job worries.

A fourth of survey respondents felt like they were under pressure to reach orgasm every time they had sex and 27 percent of men and 69 percent of women admitted to faking orgasms in the past.

The survey also reveals some things that men and women say help them achieve orgasm. Forty-seven percent of women say spending more time on foreplay helps them orgasm. Oral sex hit the spot for 38 percent of women and sex toys made all the difference for 35 percent of female respondents.

For men, 54 percent said that oral sex helps them climax, and 43 percent and 42 percent said that spending more time on foreplay and introducing sex toys helps them achieve orgasm.

Sex expert Joanna Coker of Bondara.co.uk said that couples shouldn't get so "hung up" on orgasms, according to the Daily Mail.

"While having an orgasm is a wonderful part of sex, making love can still be enjoyable without the big 'O'," Coker said.

"Try not to get too hung up on it as this will only make the situation worse. The ability to have an orgasm is affected by many factors as this survey shows, to be at your sexual peak keep healthy, try not to get overtired and avoid too much alcohol," she added.

She stressed that couples should talk about their problems in and out of the bedroom if they want a great sex life.

"Misunderstandings and conflicts can all affect your sexual life; it is hard to feel carefree and orgasm when you are conflicted or angry with your partner. If you're having difficulties talk about them and try to resolve them, leaving you freer to relax and enjoy your sex life," she explained.

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