How to Reassure Your Husband Marriage Counseling Is the Best Option
Every marriage goes through its ups and downs, and sometimes the best option is to seek professional help-and that's okay! Marriage counseling is a safe space to work through issues and get your relationship back on track. It should never be looked at as a failure but as a sign of strength. You're committed and determined to make your marriage work, and that in itself is a success!
Regardless, bringing the idea to your husband can make for an uncomfortable conversation if he is not on board. As intimidating as it can be to talk about it, it's an important first step in moving forward with improving your marriage. Here are a few tips for approaching your husband with your desire to try marriage counseling:
Be Honest About Your Feelings
The phrase "honesty is the best policy" might seem cliché, but it's true! Your decision to pursue marriage counseling didn't come out of the blue and your feelings of unhappiness or unfulfillment may have been going on for a while. It's important to let your husband know the truth about how these feelings have been affecting you, and why marriage counseling might be the best option. Doing so will help him understand and, hopefully, will invoke feelings of empathy.
Use "I" Statements
Instead of coming at your husband with criticism and "you" statements, explain that marriage counseling is something you need for yourself. If your husband feels as though he's being blamed for all of your issues, he's less likely to have an open mind about therapy. By talking about your own needs and goals, it will prevent him from becoming closed off or defensive.
Tell Him You Love Him
Many people fear that marriage counseling marks the beginning of the end, but that couldn't be further from the truth In order for it to be successful, you both need to feel secure in your relationship and recognize counseling as a way of improving it, not a means to an end. Tell him you love him and that your love for each other is the driving force behind growing and improving together through counseling.
Make the Decision Together
At the end of the day, you can't force your husband to try marriage counseling if they simply don't want to. Counseling only works if both partners are open and ready to embrace and learn from it. Give him time to think it over and reflect on the idea, and try not to push it. If you both decide it's time to give it a try, the next step is to find marriage counseling in your area and choose a therapist that suits your relationship best.
If your husband is not fully on board with in-person counseling, you can always try Relish, a relationship-coaching app. The first week is free and can give you a better idea of whether or not it's a good fit. Relish is an easy, accessible way to work on relationships and provides real professionals and advice tailored to you as a couple.
Although the idea of marriage counseling can be scary, it's so important to bring it up if you're feeling unhappy. Counseling can help you and your husband set goals together, take responsibility for things that have happened in the past, and show continued commitment and love to one another.