Dating Tips for Doctors
If you feel like your dating picker is broken, take a seat next to everyone else. As a doctor, it may feel out of place to be the one in the waiting room, but even a cardiologist can't always make sense of matters of the heart.
It may seem like the COVID-19 pandemic has paused everything from travel plans, career advancements, business start-ups, dating, and even putting insurance on hold. From social plans, family plans, and even insurance plans, if dating has been hard before, it's only becoming more trying.
Dates Aren't Coming to You
A patient meet-cute like in the movies would be ideal, right? Imagine just walking into a room as you do with every other patient, and suddenly your soulmate is there with some adorable story behind their reason for needing treatment. Unfortunately, life isn't a movie, and you're not likely to meet your soulmate that way.
Looking for eligible people to date doesn't mean you have to make it a new part-time job, but a big reason for why dating can feel so hard is because between work and self care, there doesn't seem to be time to find one.
Although your soulmate isn't likely to just pop up at your practice, they could be sharing other similar spaces. Where are you a regular, and when you're there, are you keeping yourself approachable?
Your gym, morning coffee shop, or favorite restaurant are all great places you could be overlooking. Keep your eyes open and make eye contact with people you usually overlook as you're rushing from task to task. You could be missing natural meeting opportunities by simply ignoring others around you.
Common Mistakes Doctors Make
Don't worry, no one is accusing you of malpractice. Dating can be challenging to navigate for everyone, but between working and staying COVID-distance safe, it can leave the singles of 2020 at a standstill.
It's still up to you to figure out how to get out there during these unprecedented times, and hopefully, the need for quarantining and social distancing has helped point out where you were going wrong pre-pandemic.
Not Being Creative with Your Time
Does planning a date keep you awake at night? You want to do something nice, but don't want to be used just for your money or waste your time to get stood up. You need to make sure what you do fits into your schedule. The need for social distance has made room for some creative date ideas that are great for getting to know someone as well as their intentions.
The longer you date someone, the more effort you should be putting into your quality time activities, but to dip your toe in, here are some great beginning date ideas that are easy to plan, cost effective, and will help you know if the person you're dating is a good match.
Hiking: Find a nice trail and get physical. The fresh air not only gets you out of your office but gives you space to talk and get to know your date.
Visit an animal shelter: Everyone has been a little lonely in 2020, especially animals. Playing with animals releases dopamine and can be a simple date that brings out your date's fuzzy side.
Picnic: It's so simple yet incredibly romantic. Bring a few favorite foods and even a game to play, and with the right person, you'll have each other smitten.
Coffee break: Meet up before work or on a lunch break. Even spending small pockets of time will show someone you're making an effort. Plus, if all goes well, you'll have your potential love interest thinking of you the rest of the day.
Fruit picking: What better way to spend off? And even if the date flops, you'll walk away with some produce fresher than the grocery store.
Book swap: Give each other a book or even just a topic you're interested in to research, then schedule a time to meet for dinner or lunch to talk about the traded interest.
Doctors Tend to Interview Their Dates
Finding the correct communication balance can be drowning waters to tread. Not knowing what to talk about or share can be a dating catch-22. On the one hand, you want to ask questions to find out if you're compatible, but you also don't want to treat a date like a job interview.
It's okay to be nervous. Having a few topics in mind to get conversations going in the right direction will help keep both in-person and virtual interactions entertaining while gaining more authentic insight into your love interest.
Date or Interview?: Don't only talk about work, even if they ask. Change the subject to something more personal that will give them insight into who you are past your career.
Passionate for passion: Ask about worldly and societal causes they care about. It's okay if this brings up either of your careers, but try stirring the conversation more personal by using follow-up questions like, "Is that something your parents instilled in you?" or "Do you have a personal connection to caring about that?"
The checklist: Instead of telling them what you're looking for, let them show you those qualities. When you list things off to someone, you're not giving them a chance to allow you to get to know them past a checklist. Chances are, if you're looking for distinctive qualities, you'll notice them within your person without having to ask.
Be weird: Your career is already an indicator you know how to be serious. Don't be stiff and enjoy yourself. Having a mentally and emotionally demanding job is a lot, and if you can't relax around the person you're dating, when will you?
The tips above will help you in conversation, but if you commonly have gotten the "you're too busy" complaint from lovers, here are a few other short ways you can give someone butterflies without subsiding your priorities.
Set an alarm: When we're busy, we forget to look at our phones, so create an alarm to let your special someone know you're thinking about them.
Short and sweet: Send a pic of something odd or even frustrating about your day. Touching base without talking in-depth gives you something to recall later and keeps your interest from getting insecure about where you two stand. Example: Spilled your coffee, ran into a door, got a cool pen from a coworker? Send a pic.
Write letters: Being a doctor isn't a standard 9-5 job, making finding time difficult. Write letters and send them, so they get a random surprise.
Serenade: Send them a song. They'll probably add it to their playlist and feel connected to you whenever they listen to it, even when you can't respond.
Each Person is an Experience
No matter how much you love your demanding career, nobody wants to be alone forever. Success is more than degrees and awards, and having success without someone to share it with can leave us feeling unfulfilled.
Each relationship is unique in its own ways, but skipping the small talk or rushing the courting process will only lead to more first dates with no second or third. Having someone to love isn't just a chemical reaction. Feeling love keeps us healthy because the physical effects of loneliness can be worse than obesity in impacts on internal health.
It can be hard to make love a priority with so much on your mind, but it doesn't have to be stressful or distracting. Be intuitive when diagnosing if someone is for you, and don't be afraid to waste time. Each person is an experience, so relax and enjoy the ride.
About the Author
Danielle Beck-Hunter writes and researches for the car insurance comparison site, CarInsuranceComparison.com. Outside of writing and insurance, Danielle also partners with Simply Speed Dating. Simply Speed Dating curates dating experience and advice for Atlanta locals.