Dealing With Depression - Ways To Cope After a Marriage Breakdown
The unfortunate fact is that the breakdown of your marriage can be extremely traumatic. You may experience many negative emotions. Foremost of these could be a feeling of depression or loss. This is true no matter how briefly (or long) you were together, and also whether or not you have children. Even if you were the person who initiated the divorce it's extremely likely that you may feel a sense of depression. You may find these feelings difficult to cope with. In this article we're going to outline some ways that you can deal with this, and also how to move on after your divorce.
1. Take Time For Yourself
The first thing you have to realize is that divorce is an emotionally devastating experience. This means that it's important to take time for yourself. Understand that in the days and months following your divorce, you're not going to be functioning at 100% and that's okay. Give yourself permission to take a break and rethink your life.
2. Don't Go Through This Alone
It's also important that you don't go through this alone. You need to develop a support network. Bottling up your feelings and emotions can be extremely unhealthy and may lead to problems with depression and anxiety. This may also lead to problems with stress and substance abuse says Johnny K - owner of True Life Recovery detox program in Orange County, CA. This is why it's so important that you avoid isolating yourself and find someone you can talk to. This can be either a close friend or family member. You may also want to consider joining a support group. Talking with other people who have recently divorced can be tremendously beneficial.
3. Avoid Conflicts With Your Ex
It's also important that you avoid any type of conflict with your spouse. Doing this can be extremely stressful and produce many negative feelings. Ideally you should restrict contact with your spouse to the bare minimum. If you have to talk to them, do not allow your discussion to turn into a fight. Stop things before they reach that point. Also, try to be as cordial as possible and do not get into power struggles with them. In fact, it's probably best to communicate through lawyers as often as you can.
4. Maintain Your Health
After going through a divorce, many people allow their physical health to degrade. This is something you should avoid because it will only make you feel more depressed. Avoid spending your days in bed, crying, and abusing any sort of drugs or alcohol to deal with your feelings. Instead take up a new exercise program, eat better, and make sure to get enough sleep. Doing this will make you feel a lot better, and also help you work through negative emotions.
5. Let Go And Accept The Situation
One of the most important things you need to do after a divorce is simply let go and accept the situation. You need to learn how to accept what has happened and release all negative emotions or thoughts which you may have. Hanging onto bitterness, resentment, and negative feelings will only make the situation worse. Don't be that person. Let go of negativity and you will immediately start to feel better. This may be difficult if you've suffered through a messy divorce and still have feelings for the person, but ultimately it's something which must be done.
6. Try to Have Fun
Just because you're divorced doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. It's important that you avoid moping around and feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You have to remember to enjoy life and make time to have fun. This can mean spending the day with your friends, dedicating time to new hobbies, or even going to the movies.
7. Consider Seeing New People
The fact is that you're going to eventually want to start dating someone new. Getting into a new relationship is one of the best ways to move on from your divorce and your old spouse. It will also help you to put things into perspective. That being said, this isn't for everyone. There are certain things to keep in mind if you're going to start dating again.
It's important that you're actually over your ex. You should also take things slow. Don't be in a rush to jump into a new relationship and watch out for people who seem too perfect (and be especially careful when using internet dating sites). Pay close attention to your feelings and emotions. Also, if you have children then it's extremely important to be careful when dating new people.
8. Visit a Therapist
If none of this is helping, then maybe it's time to see a therapist. This is probably a good idea for anyone who has recently gone through a divorce. A therapist can help you with many things. They can allow you to vent negative emotions and get things off your chest. They can also help you come to terms with what has happened, and help you find a way to move past your divorce. Also, if your depression is particularly brutal, a therapist may prescribe medication to get you through this period.
9. Keep a Journal
Another great therapy tool is to simply keep a journal of this experience. Journaling is a great way to get your frustrations and negative feelings out onto paper. Doing this will also help you cope and get through difficult times. Writing is also a good way to reduce stress, make sense of what has happened, and reduce the trauma of your divorce.
10. Reinvent Yourself
If there's one good thing about divorce, it's that you're given the chance to do new things. whether you wanted the divorce or not, it means that you're now free of your spouse and can do whatever you want. This is an opportunity to completely reinvent yourself. That could mean moving to a different part of the country, taking up a new hobby, or transforming your body. The sky's the limit!